She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I got inside last night via doggy door
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
