So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize