THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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