I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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