Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
