I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
is wine microwaveable?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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