I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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