I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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