do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
