Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
