i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
