There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize