You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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