You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
