i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
