She's JV to your varsity
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
