sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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