so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
