dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
