fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
