just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize