I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
