those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
