Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish I could teleport
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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