remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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