I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
