At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
