Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
