Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize