I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
