Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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