some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
they need to just BURY HIM!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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