we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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