everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
