I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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