I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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