My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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