My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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