I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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