check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
