her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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