I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize