Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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