Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
