plz talk dirty to me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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