Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize