you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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