Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
