3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just puked most of my soul out..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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