this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
