is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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