After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
