Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
