it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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