All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
