I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
