I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
