I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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