watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
