My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
