I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
