just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
