how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
