So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
