She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
