She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
