This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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