He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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