I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
