You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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