feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
